Everyone feels like they’re going through their own version of “relationship hell” these days. From texting your partner only to get a quick “lol” in return, to wondering if your significant other is secretly talking to other people about you, there’s not much that most modern couples can agree on anymore (unless you count the hot new dating app that just came out…). But no matter how dire things may seem, there’s always hope. Here are some relationship advice tips from female experts that you can’t ignore.
Be honest with yourself first
You must understand that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. People are flawed, whether it’s in your love life, friendships, or work life. Unless your partner is an exact carbon copy of you, they’re going to have their own unique qualities that you’re going to have to work with in order to create a good and healthy relationship. You can’t wait for your partner to be perfect before you even begin. Be honest with yourself about what you’re looking for in a partner and what you’d like to see out of your relationship. Find out what your values are and find someone who shares them.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want
Everyone has a certain stereotypical image of the perfect relationship. There’s this image of two perfect strangers who meet by a stroke of luck and stumble into each other, falling madly in love and getting married in a romantic setting, surrounded by family and friends. That’s not a realistic expectation for most couples, but you should be able to ask for what you want. Your partner should not be your servant and you should not have to be satisfied with “meh.” Ask for what you want. You may get it and you may not – but at least you can’t say that you didn’t try.
Communication is key
Successful relationships are built on communication. If you can’t or don’t talk to your partner about what’s bothering you, where you’re feeling inadequate, or even what you’re feeling, then you’re not going to feel as understood and accepted. It’s important to be able to talk to your partner about what’s going on in your life, what you’re feeling, and even what you’d like to see change in your relationship. If you don’t feel that you can talk to your partner about these things, then you may need to look for a new partner.
Set realistic expectations for your relationship
It’s easy to assume that because you’re in a relationship, that you now understand everything about your partner. You assume that you know your partner better than they know themselves, but that’s not the case. Partners are individuals with their own likes, dislikes, dreams, desires, and fears. Your partner should be able to feel comfortable sharing their own desires and dreams with you, but they shouldn’t have to do so in a way that makes you feel threatened or inferior. There’s no point in having expectations for your relationship that are far too high, as you can’t possibly be disappointed by a partner who is “only human” after all. The best you can do is to set realistic expectations that you can be happy with.
Stay close with your friends – they’re your lifeline in a crisis
Even though your partner is the main person in your life and the love of your life, when things get serious and you’re in a crisis, it’s your friends and family who will be there for you. In a crisis, such as a relationship breakup that leaves you feeling rejected and alone, your friends can be a lifeline. You can talk to them about your partner, about what you’re feeling, and about how you’re dealing with the situation. Your friends can provide a kind of “outside perspective” that you may not find in yourself. While your partner may be able to comfort you and reassure you that things will get better, there’s no way that they can change the fact that you’re dealing with an outside issue. Your best bet is to talk to a friend who has your back and who can help you get through this difficult situation.
Keep your love tank full by finding activities you enjoy together
There’s no need to fall into the trap of searching for a partner who is “the one”; that person may not exist. Instead, focus on finding activities with your partner that you enjoy. What does that mean? Basically, find things that you both enjoy doing together and that bring you both some form of pleasure. It doesn’t have to be expensive, although it helps if it can be something that you both “look forward” to doing together. Whether it’s going to movies or catching a basketball game, find something that both of you look forward to doing. Keeping your love tank full with activities that you both enjoy will help to reduce the chances of your relationship ending up as “just a hobby.”
Having a healthy relationship is not easy. The key is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and to find activities that you can both enjoy doing. It will take some effort, but it is possible to create a happy and healthy relationship.