If you’ve ever been in a relationship where the two of you were just too shy to cut through all of your defenses and really get to know your partner, then you know how challenging it can be. As much as those moments are crushing, they do teach us something — namely that we can’t change our pasts, but we can change our present and future selves. That’s why it’s so important for us to learn from every single experience we have with people who make us feel uncomfortable. The good news is that there are probably dozens if not hundreds of other people like you out there.
But the bad news is that because of their inexperience with new situations, most shy guys have no idea what they should or shouldn’t do when trying to initiate contact with someone new. This is why we wrote this guide: so that no one else will ever have the same struggles as you again!
The best way to set yourself apart from everyone else is to be yourself. When you put on a fake face and try to be someone you’re not, you come off as fake, insecure, and awkward. If you’re shy, it’s okay to be shy. You don’t have to go out and talk to everyone you meet just to make yourself happy. Just keep in mind that you’re the one you want to impress, so you need to make yourself happy.
You might not be able to change other people’s minds, but you can change how you think about things. Shy guys often have negative thoughts about themselves and their abilities, but you can change both of those things by taking the time to realize that you’re actually good at a lot of things and that you have a ton of personality to offer.
Patience is a virtue, so it should go without saying that you should be patient. But what do you mean by be patient? At the beginning of a relationship, your partner might be shy. They might not know what to say or have any idea how to make things comfortable for you. Because of their past experiences, they might be too worried about talking to you and what you might think of them to actually try. Be patient. Let them know that you’re interested in getting to know them, but don’t rush them. Take the time to make your partner feel comfortable. Share your interests, talk about your family and friends, and take the time to show them that you care.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Honest
Being honest is important in almost everything you do, but especially with someone you’re trying to get to know better. Shy guys often have a ton of feelings and experiences bottled up inside of them. They might blame themselves or think that they’re somehow not good enough because of that, but the truth is that they’ve just been through a lot and they’re just trying to figure out how to deal with it.
If you can be patient, take the time to talk to them, and help them out while they’re figuring out how to open up, you’ll see them start to get comfortable with their feelings. If you see them getting frustrated, be patient and let them vent. Eventually, they’ll either be able to talk through their frustration and figure things out, or they’ll just relax and realize that there’s nothing to figure out. Either way, you’ve helped someone who was hurting by opening up their emotions and helping them become a bit more comfortable with themselves.
Don’t Get Too Self-Conscious
Self-conscious people are often too worried about what other people might think about them. Shy people will often try to avoid that by worrying about what people might think about them. If you get caught up in this cycle, you might end up avoiding a lot of opportunities because of the thought that you might come off as too weird or different than everyone else. If you want to get to know someone, you need to forget about yourself. You can’t think about what you want to say or what you want to do.
In fact, the best way to get over shyness is to completely turn it off and think about nothing but your partner and what they’re like and how they act. Most people are pretty open and will be willing to do this if you ask them nicely. If they aren’t, that just means that they’re self-conscious as well and could benefit from the same advice you’d give to a shy person.
Take Showers Together
Even though you might not know each other that well, you’re living together and you have to pee in the same shower, so you should definitely take showers together. Yes, that’s right. Taking showers is one of the best ways to make sure that you stay hydrated, get to know your partner, and become more comfortable with each other. If you don’t normally shower together, try taking one a day.
This isn’t an excursion. You’re just going to the bathroom. When you’re in there, try to think about nothing but your partner. Think about how they act in the shower, what they like to do when they’re washing their hair or taking a shower, what they’d like to know more about, and so on. If you can do this in one shower, try doing it in another. Take turns being the one who decides what you’re going to do in the shower. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you’ll both get used to this new dynamic.
Go Out With Friends
One of the best ways to get to know your partner is to make sure you have friends who are open to meeting new people and getting to know people who are different from you. If your shy partner is usually home by themselves and doesn’t get out much, this is their chance to make some friends.
If you don’t have any friends who are open to meeting new people, this is your chance to make some new friends. The best way to do this is to get out there and start meeting people on your own. Don’t wait for your shy partner to make the first move. Go out and get to know new people by yourself and let them know that they need to follow your lead.
You are not alone. There are a lot of other shy guys out there who feel the same way. They just need someone to remind them that they’re not alone and that they don’t need to keep feeling bad about themselves. If you feel like you’ve hit a wall or you’re just ready to make some changes in your life and in your relationships, take a step back and think about what you want to accomplish. Think about what you want out of a relationship and then think about what you can do to make that happen. The best way to get over shyness is to actually take action.